The best evidence against FIFA’s Sepp Blatter – from his own movie

He’s apparently good at finding money…

FIFA are the guys that run the world cup – they are like an international governing body for football.

It was sort of surprising then when yesterday a bunch of their high level execs got arrested by some FBI chaps. A chunk of their dodgy money had passed through US accounts and it turns out that was a bad idea.

But it’s only sort of surprising. Because people have suspected that FIFA have been corrupt for a while now.

When they made the decision to give the World Cup to Qatar in 2022 – well that was just one step away from them all wearing ‘I ❤ Bribery’ T-shirts on a night out.

You see QATAR is in the desert – problematic because football involves lots of running and sweating – you just can’t play it in the predicted 45° desert heat. And also QATAR didn’t actually have any football stadiums at the time – problematic for brain-smackingly obvious reasons.

The only reason why FIFA would want the world cup there is because QATAR is a really rich country… and money is delicious.

I didn’t think these T-shirts would actually exist…

But all that is just context. Just a backdrop that makes it more interesting when I tell you that before all these arrests, a FIFA movie was made.

They call it United Passions and the trailer is really interesting, even though the actual movie looks shoddy…

It’s wonderful that the central conflict in this is FIFA don’t have enough money  (They’re accounts are disastrous!)

And then it’s even more wonderful when we get the iconic line about Sepp Blatter (the current head of FIFA) …

Blatter. He’s apparently good at finding money.

Ah one of those money finders… just walking along and, wow, there’s some money.

Well let’s not jump to conclusions…

Maybe Sepp has a talent for spotting pennies on side of the road. Maybe he gets his waders on and climbs into public fountains to collect the coins people wish away.

Or maybe he finds his money some other, more illegal way…

Well that’s my evidence gathered and presented – do I get to join the FBI now?