The best new instrument

Have you ever wanted to play a musical instrument? Is the only thing holding you back your innate lack of talent? Well, worry no more, Flo Rida has the solution for you.

He (definitely someone else) has created the exciting new instrument Beamz. Here’s a commercial of it to whet your appetite:

It combines two of everyone’s favourite things: lasers and electronic music.

All you do is wave your hand in front of the beam and it plays a musical note. There are many different settings allowing you to play along to all your favourite genres of music.

I never believed there could be an instrument so amazing which allowed me to play EDM and Country music, the mind boggles. Flo Rida has taught me to think outside the box, not to be constrained by the old ways of thinking but to liberate my mind.

Look how passionately this man plays it like a guitar.


I wish I were him.

You certainly will be the life of the party with this super cool and mega fun piece of kit. Everyone will want to know you and wave they’re hands around like morons in time to the music.

Apparently there are some fairly talented people who play Beamz, there’s even a whole video dedicated to them showing off their talents:

I could only make it through about a minute of the video, there’s only so much talent one man can take.

I think this will end up in a museum somewhere highlighting the pinnacle of human technology and craftsmanship. Flo Rida, you’ve nailed it!

If I haven’t convinced you yet that this is your new, must-have gift for Christmas, then look at this second commercial. Literally anyone can play Beamz without the need for all those “frustrating music lessons”:

As dripping as this post is with cynicism and sarcasm, I totally want to try out Beamz. It actually looks pretty fun…