The best way to tell if you’re wearing something fashionable and/or fancy

Everybody has their own fashion, even those people who say they don’t care or don’t have one, they’re lying. I bet if you provided them with this little gem then they would decline to wear it:


They’ve got fashion, it’s just not reflected by what you see on a catwalk or on most high streets.

But how can you tell if you’re wearing something which is truly fashionable and/or fancy? There’s a very simple solution: ask yourself, “what practical benefit does this have?”. If the answer is “none” then you are definitely wearing something fancy or fashion.

To prove my point, think about the humble suit. What benefit is the tie? Other than being a convenient way to choke a man and something which can get trapped in doors, I see no practical usage of it.


And what about that pocket square? Sure it’s a handkerchief, but when was the last time you used it as such you fancy pants fashion man?

Even the trousers and the shirt are rife with pointless attributes. Why should there be collar? Is it only there to satisfy the needs of a useless tie? Why do I need a crease in my trousers? Why do I hate creases anywhere which hasn’t been preordained by the gurus at Next?

This principle also extends to the fashion world. You’re wearing a scarf. We’re inside. The heating’s on. You just removed your jumper because you’re too hot. Still wearing that scarf though. Practically pointless.

Just to clarify, I’m not saying we should abolish these things (although sending the tie deep into a black hole would suit me) nor am I saying there is a problem with fashion for the sake of fashion. Merely I’m giving you warning signs that you’re walking the tightrope of fashionista and/or looking fancy.

Be careful up there and don’t look down, there’s a world full of Crocs and other practical items swarming below you.