The 3 best things you find when you delve deep into ‘cow news’

cow jumping over barrier

Wow.

 

I think if this blog didn’t exist, I would probably be writing a blog about cow news. It’s the first place I look when I’m short of best things… as evidenced here and here.

And actually, it’s amazing. There are a lot of excellent news stories about cows. But I’ve found one particular cow-based news article that is just full of best things.

The first revelation you experience, when reading this article is in that picture above… a woman riding a cow and jumping over a fence.

And that is the absolute archetype of a best thing… funny, incredible, never-seen-it-before, a little bit weird… it has all the right stuff.

I wonder if I could get involved in cow show-jumping… maybe Steve should do it instead because he is lighter.

The second amazing thing about this article is that it’s actually terrible. If it was an item of clothing it would be fishnet speedos; if it was a joke it would be one where the joke-teller accidentally told you the punchline first – it really is bad.

Take a look at the headline…

classic cow pun

NPR Moos… classic cow-based punnery

So the purpose of the article is to find out whether there is any truth to the hey-diddle-diddle, cow jumping over the moon, nursery rhyme. So they interview this guy called Tyler, who knows a thing or two about cows, and ask him questions like… Has a cow ever been to the moon? (No) and… Should a cow ever circle the moon? (also no).

But NPR Moos is sort of beautiful. Their lack of purpose, clarity and relevance is actually quite endearing. It just about scrapes into the best thing category – by being really quite bad.

But the third and final best thing about this article is actually incredible.

Tyler is asked whether cows can jump, which we already know the answer to because of the picture. But then Tyler says something very interesting…

When I first thought about it, I kind of just assumed cows couldn’t jump at all — I don’t know why, probably just because of their size. But strangely enough, they can jump. There’s one incident I found from some English newspaper where a cow apparently jumped about six feet up onto the roof of a barn.

Hang on… did you honestly just say that, Tyler? A cow jumping six feet onto a roof… that can’t be true. It’s too much.

But like a classic best thing finder, I went and did a bit of research, and sure enough…

 

Sometimes life is just perfect

Sometimes life is just perfect

 

You can read all about that story in the Telegraph… or you can take a look at the original NPR Moos interview for yourself.

But whatever you do, don’t forget to come back tomorrow for more cow news best things.

 

 

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