The best thing to do with this spider


Ok, this is a slight misuse of the blog. I’m supposed to supply you with a best thing, not the other way round.

But this giant spider has moved in to the area where my bin also lives. That means I have to deal with him on a biweekly basis.

And I need to know what I should do with him – how do I make him leave?

But first let me explain the situation…

I would describe myself as a recovering arachnophobe. I’m pretty scared of spiders but gradually becoming less scared. I deal with all spiders in our house because my wife is a full on arachnophobe, no recovery in sight.

In New Zealand, we had a huge house spider visit our bed and breakfast accommodation. The sort of spider that crunches when you kill it and wouldn’t fit into any glass we had.

I was so scared of this guy that I actually shouted ‘3 – 2 – 1 KILL!’ As I squished him with a mountain of toilet paper. I didn’t mean to say it; it just came out.

Like a lame action hero.

And I can justify that because I think that if a spider is inside, it has invaded my territory. I’m allowed to retaliate however I want.

But the beast pictured above is outside – he’s not a house spider. He’s too chunky and camouflaged for that. He’s sort of invaded my territory but not really because my bins sit on a public footpath round the side of my house.

Also I think if I tried to kill him, he would jump on my face or something.

I tried to solve the problem by breaking his web several times – to annoy him into leaving. It didn’t work though.

Then when I saw him on the actual bin itself I seized the opportunity and transported him out to the bin collection point. I thought surely when they tip all the trash into the truck, he will also fall out and be gone forever.

But he hung on.

Then I dealt with the problem by going away on holiday for three weeks… I thought he would be elsewhere or dead by the time I got back.

But I took that photo yesterday – he’s not gone anywhere.

So how do I get rid of the spider?Β 

I could kill him I guess – take a risk on the face-jumping. I could just let him live there and swallow my fear every time I go to the bins – hoping that I will eventually out-live him. I guess I could trap him in a large container and carry him to Scotland.

But really I’m not sure what to do.

Any suggestions?