The best alternative names for jetlag


2 bad things... Jet lag and airport knives

So it’s currently 5.50am in New Zealand. That is approximately early o clock.

I went to bed at 7.30pm so really I’ve experienced the sleeping patterns of a 2 year old.

I guess that’s just what a 36 hour plane journey (including queuing and waiting time) does to you… That and flipping time on its head.

It’s currently 7pm British time and I’ve just slept for 10 hours. My body must think I’ve gone a little bit mad.

And all of this weird experience is called jetlag. Which is a stupid name for 2 reasons.

1. No one says jet ever. We say plane.

2. The jet takes all the glory even though the lag really only kicks in once you are off the plane.

For these two reasons, I am now referring to my current condition as ‘jonlag’ because it is Jon who is lagging.

My other suggestions for alternative names would be crazy timehead, sleepy sadness or morning is night now – deal with it.

That last one is probably a bit long but it can be shortened to minndwi…

The only other thing to say right now is that plane eggs are just the worst type food. They taste of death, smell like armpits and feel like rubber.

If Samuel L Jackson had starred in a film called ‘Eggs on a plane’, that would have been an excellent horror movie…

Just Samuel L, eating all the egg dishes that have ever been served on a plane…