The best way to get a kiss from the Queen

queen hand shake

The Queen normally sticks to handshakes when meeting a new person

A kiss from the Queen of England probably has magical properties. I imagine the benefits of receiving such a thing include, but are not limited to, all illnesses healed, super speed, extreme patriotism and ten extra years on your life expectancy.

That’s the sort of thing we’re dealing with I think.

So it’s no surprise, after England lost another world cup match last night, that Mario Balotelli is trying to steal some of the Queen’s life-giving kisses – in return for playing well at football.



Mario is a smart man and he knows what he wants. He also holds all the power in this situation. Because England need Italy to win their next two games of football if we are to have any chance of qualifying for the next round of the World Cup.

We need Balotelli to score a bunch of goals against Costa Rica today and then Uruguay next week. If he does that we can keep our hopes alive.


Here he is scoring the winning goal against England – keep up the good work, Mario.

I think we should at least negotiate with the man though… He can’t just have it all his own way.

I’ll happily allow him to have a royal kiss – But only if Italy win their next two games and he scores a goal in each.That’s the terms that I would recommend to the powers that be. I don’t know if it’s a government matter or a sporting one – the lines are blurred.

But just get it done chaps…

And if he doesn’t go for that, perhaps we could offer him a kiss from Prince Charles as well. That’s sure to make him score all the goals…

A kiss from Prince Charles not Queen - Balotelli

This is exactly how it will happen…



If you’re interested in more crazy Mario Balotelli antics, why not check out his football sticker collection. It’s a little… well see for yourself…



He’s a man who knows what he likes… and he likes himself.

Happy double post Friday, everybody!