The best questions you asked when you thought no one was looking

always watching cat

There’s always someone watching…

Let’s have a conversation about search terms. You might not want to, but it’s important.

Because when you guys type away at google, you think nobody is watching. But if you end up clicking through to us, then we get to see exactly what you typed.

It’s pretty fun actually because you think some weird things.

A typical day might look a bit like this…


google search terms

Big shout out to whoever searched for the perfect hairy male body image…


Mostly we get unknown search terms but then some do come through… and that’s what I want to talk about.

But we’ve had so many queries that I need to be even more focused. So I’m going to take all the questions you’ve asked google (and then clicked through to us) and I’m going to answer them as best as I can.

But really I just want to display all the weird stuff you guys say when you think no one is watching…

In a recovering house market, is it cheaper to build house or buy house?

Wow, a surprisingly high-brow start.

I’m guessing they clicked through to Steve’s thoughts about this topic and presumably they didn’t find the answer they were looking for. You should always build it though, right? It’s got to be cheaper. But only if you have the skill level, otherwise you can end up with one of these…

shed poorly built

Cosy detached property with plenty of outside space. Ideal for a young family.

The best collective nouns?

Well, this guy needs to work on his question asking technique, but at least he did find his answer.

What is a collective noun?

Turns out almost everyone is interested in this topic. It’s the name for a bunch of things.

How to seduce your man?

Now things are getting interesting. In our 200+ posts we’ve discussed this quite a bit… sort of. Maybe this person found the answer here, here or even here.

Odd question though… If he’s already ‘your man’ is he not already seduced? I don’t like to think about it too much actually – it creeps me out.

How to be a sneaky thief?

Now we’re talking… helping people to break the law. Not sure that anyone who uses the word ‘sneaky’ is cut out for a life of crime though. I would recommend just being yourself, then maybe the sneaky thievery will come along naturally.

This person probably found this blog post which was probably  unintentionally helpful.

Is Jon’s orange peel good for me?

Good question… hold on a second… how did you get hold of my orange peel? I haven’t eaten an orange in a good few months. I’m more of an apple kind of guy.

This type of search term fills us with guilt… it feels like we’re stealing someone’s page view. We just have no answers to a question like that. Though I’m guessing the answer is probably no – don’t eat orange peel.

Can I just add chilli umami paste to pasta?

I guess you could do this, it would probably taste ok – a bit like pesto maybe. But you are best off adding it to a sauce to boost up the flavour.

If you haven’t discovered umami yet then you need to read this.

Can I say master of knowledge?

Try saying it once and if the words come out and sound good then keep on saying it. Read this post to give your new phrase some gravitas.

At this point, things start to get a little creepy…

What’s the best thing a girl can do to her best boy buddy?

I’m not sure I understand the question… I need more context but I’m frightened to ask.

Steve and Jon’s best things – Is Steve single?

We thought this was hilarious – just someone casually interested in Steve’s relationship status. The answer is yes, of course. (I just added the of course to be needlessly offensive)

But the searching continued…

Steve and Jon’s best things – is Steve hot?

Good question… I can’t answer it for you though – just do some soul searching and you’ll find out your true opinion

And it continued further…

Steve and Jon’s best things – Will Steve marry me?

That is a little bit scary now. I’m sure if you’re a nice person, then he might consider marrying you.

Genuinely though, we’re not sure if Steve has a keen admirer or whether someone is just messing with us.

I think it’s the latter but Steve’s ego opts for the former.

Would the mystery google searcher like to reveal themselves and settle the debate?

That’s what the comment section is made for…