The best ways to predict the weather without a smart phone

Do you ever feel like your phone is beating you at life?

Not only does mine tell me when to get up, when to go to the dentist and which route I should take home, it also knows more about things than I do.

I can ask it pretty much any question and it will give me a decent answer. But I remember a time when I used my intuition, took wrong turns and speculated about stuff. There’s no speculation any more, there’s just google. I want a bit of that back to be honest.

So today I’m going to teach you how to get one up on your smartphone overlord. I’m going to show you how to predict the weather without using the internet… It’s fun because people get really serious about being able to do this well. It’s sort of like a religion to some.

I’m also going to do it using handy rhymes. Where there isn’t a conventional rhyme, I will make one up for you in the captions.

You all know red sky at night… and that is true… but you all know it so there’s no point me saying it.

Here are some more obscure ones:


Rain is for certle, when you see a turtle

Yup, apparently turtles search for higher ground when the rains are coming. So if you see one where you wouldn’t normally – it’s probably going to rain. If you see a turtle at all in Britain you are probably at some sort of zoo. Also don’t turtles mostly live in the sea? I definitely saw them on finding nemo… This could well be a WikiLie. I still like it though.


weather predictions

If compost you smell, the rains will swell

Apparently plants and things release a composty type smell when the rains are coming. So take a deep breath (away from any actual compost) and smell in the rains or lack thereof.


If you see the morning dew, later on take off your shoe(s) …because it’s sunny

If there is dew in the morning, that means there is the right type of pressure around (my brain can’t learn anything more specific unless it rhymes) and the day will be sunny. If it’s rained the night before this doesn’t work because how do you know if it’s dew or rain? The answer is you don’t.

And the last one you need…


When the fat cow lies… thunder flies.

Cows lie down before a thunderstorm. Why? I don’t know… maybe they want to keep their patch of grass dry. Maybe the extra weight of the rain would be too much for them to carry. Either way it’s a fun tip.


So there you have it… 4 amazing ways to beat your smart phone at weather prediction. I didn’t pick the most effective techniques… as usual on this blog, you’ve just been given the ones that I found the most entertaining.

I especially love the turtle one. See the WikiHow page for more advice about clouds and stuff.