The best way to get what you want
In this life we don’t always get what we want. This can be for lots of different reasons but we all end up bemoaning our bad luck at one point or another.
I would say it’s an interesting by-product of our consumerist society: we believe we have a right to everything and that if we are denied something then it is fundamentally unfair.
You can read stories of children suing their parents because they had to keep rules. That they had to stick to a curfew. And that they weren’t going to pay for college tuition. It’s quite a sad indictment on our “I have a right to something which was never my right at all” society.
But I’m not here to be preachy. I’m here to tell you how to get what you want.
I’ve noticed a lot of times that when something doesn’t quite go my way, more often than not, it’s because I haven’t asked. This could be with a job, with my future, with girls. I tend to be pretty bad at asking.
This is the first step to getting somewhere – actually ask for it.
The great thing about asking, is that you end up with an answer rather than guessing or overanalysing a situation. “Why didn’t I get a promotion?” “Because you regularly smell of cheese!” At least now I know.
I forget that I don’t have to dance around a subject. A classic move on my part is to gently nudge people in a certain direction, to try and get them to suggest the thing I was wanting all along, and then jump on the bandwagon when they finally get to the correct conclusion.
Someone at my work always says: “shy kids don’t get sweets!” and sometimes shy kids do want sweets. So you should ask.
Another way to get what you want is to be persistent. Just keep going and going until you wear down the person and they eventually say yes to whatever you’re asking.
Now I realise this isn’t appropriate in all situations e.g. continually asking Beyonce for a lock of her hair – that would fall into creepy territory – but persistence can be very effective. It just takes a lot of guts because it’s downright annoying.
This has never been more true than in the area of retail and restaurants – you haggle, you complain, they pay you off to save face.
Last night I was out at a restaurant and the couple next to me began to get irate at the waitress because she hadn’t deducted enough money from their bill due to a misunderstanding of the vouchers they were using. The waitress kept telling them that what they wanted was impossible but they kept going.
After about 10-15 minutes of awkwardness the manager was called over to repeat what the waitress had said. The couple persisted and were eventually rewarded with a free beer! Good job them!
However, even after all of this you may not get what you truly want. Because what you truly want, often, you don’t even know you want it.
An old saying goes: “be careful what you wish for because you just might get it” and that is important to remember.
I’m sure plenty of things I wish for wouldn’t be that great for me e.g. the ability to put on weight easier – I would just turn into a massive blob because I wouldn’t understand the concept of dieting.
So it’s hard guys. Maybe sometimes ask. Maybe sometimes persist. But, ultimately, be content with the hand you’ve been dealt – it’s probably not so bad.
And if you do feel like it is so bad, look at this gif because it teaches us that sometimes things in life work out better than we ever could have hoped: