The best way to feel good about your body and your face

fish mirror body image

Do fish think that they are beautiful? …this one seems to.

I heard a theory yesterday that says from the very first time we recognise ourselves in a mirror, maybe even when we’re a little baby, we realise we’re not perfect. The theory goes on to say that we create and idolise celebrities so that through them we can achieve perfection – or at least have some way to believe it’s possible.

But the problem with that is that we can spend a huge chunk of time feeling bad about ourselves. Even Steve said early today that he wishes he could put on weight easier. He wants to get stacked, or ripped or buff or some other word I rarely use.

I’ll remind him of that wish in 30 years time and see how he feels about it…

I don’t know the reason why we get body issues.

I bet there’s probably a thousand reasons that contribute. But today I’m going to pick on the most notorious villain in this story – the magazine covers. They are used as evidence to support the baby looking in the mirror theory.

So here’s my suggestion:

Let’s pretend that fish, and not photoshopped people, are the image of perfection – they are the celebrities. So we stick them on all the magazines and watch gossipy news about them. I think we’d be a lot happier.

I realise this is quite a jump to make but I really believe that fish look hilarious and therefore would make great celebrities. Ones that didn’t damage our self esteem.

This is an example of what a fish looks like…

fish self esteem

Fish don’t have self esteem problems despite looking ridiculous

At this point you’re imagination might be struggling because it’s the end of a busy week.

I’ve taken the liberty of creating some magazine covers for you – in this alternate, fish idolising world. I warn you though. I am truly terrible at photoshop – so terrible that I don’t even own it.


Here’s what manly men’s magazines would look like…



This yellow eel is giving off good vibes


blob men's health

That is one enviable figure… How can I get abs like that?


The same fish replacement works a treat in the lady’s magazines…


fish miley cyrus self esteem

That is a cute little fish – don’t think it would cause any self esteem issues though.


This is how vogue would look for sure…

fish in vogue

How does she do that perfect pout?


And here’s one more just because you can never get too many fish on the front of magazines.


The magazine would be renamed ‘Rolling fish that looks like a stone’


I guess in the end I know that these fish can’t be real celebrities. It would be too much of a culture shock probably.

But if you picture that pouting fish next time you see Vogue or Mr Blobfish when you catch a glimpse of Men’s Health… well maybe that will help you remember that celebrities are just photoshopped normal people with lots of gym time on their hands.

If we label them as perfect we make the word mean less. And then we’ll have to make a new word – like pluperfect or flabtastic or something.

And I hate learning new words – they always sounds stupid for a while.