The best way to create new Doctor Who villains


What is that thing? That might be a question you have right now.

Well let me tell you, that is the most fearsome Kandyman. He kills people by making sweets too delicious for human consumption. They eat them and die in a fit of glorious happiness. Kandyman is a really weird Doctor Who villain and you can read more about him if you want.

Let’s be honest here, he looks like he was drawn by a child. I don’t want to see anything like him in a show that I’m pretty invested in.

Because at it’s best, Doctor Who is a high concept sci-fi drama with amazing dialogue, exciting plot and characters that you really care about. It speaks more about humanity than it does about any alien race. Even if it is technically about aliens. Key to achieving this effect is coming up with villains that strike fear into our hearts.

And with the new series coming later this year and filming roughly now, I thought I’d show you some of the villains I’ve found lurking in everyday life…

Like this guy:


Shall we call him Stapletron? I don’t think he cares what we call him

Stapletron’s biggest weapon would be his ability to feel apathetic. He can lure in people with low self esteem as they endlessly crave attention from him. He never gives them the love they desperately want.

And then when they’re so tired out from trying to please him, he fires staples at them. Staples made from ice and apathy.

Or how about this guy:


His name is The Abs King and he’s a super effective fitness instructor. He gives people motivational advice that they can’t resist. After a few minutes of his exercise regime you too can have abs on your face. And after that you’ve got no face left which is bad, right?

It’s fair to say that this guy isn’t lurking in everyday life – I just thought it was a great image.

If you’re still not convinced then surely this chap will do the job:


Cower in fear before… Moptocus? The Mighty Mop?… Moptomus Prime?

Moptocus lives off human sweat. He drinks it in through his glorious hair. He’s got a hatred of humans because to talk to them face-to-face he always has to stand upside down. (His natural body position is head on the floor)

Moptocus works to make your greatest fears come true so that you sweat the place down and he gets more food. The more sweat he drinks the greater his fear inducing powers become.

Yeah essentially I’ve found things that look like evil faces and given them villainous personalities. Still a better attempt than the Kandyman though.

But despite my ability to speedily find villains for Doctor who, I think I might leave it to the professionals. Though I do think the Abs King would be genuinely scary. It’s those nippley eyes. No one should have nipples for eyes.


This is just a teapot that looks scared… still a better villain than the Kandyman