The best marketeers – most of the time

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Should read – WARNING: these are not really made of cheese

I really like the way Sainsbury’s pitch their basics range. They’re pretty honest about it. Those cheesy singles above are actually about 11% cheese and instead of leaving that as a dirty secret they come straight out with:

A little less cheesy
still makes lunches easy

It’s a catchy rhyme and it’s refreshingly honest. Sure they’ve not told the whole truth: the cheesy singles are made mostly from whey powder which is the stuff that’s left after normal cheese is made…

But it’s nice to see brands being even a little bit honest. Anyway, no one eats those things because they taste great – they just go weirdly well with burgers.

Here’s some other highlights from the Sainsburies basics slogans:

more mushy

More mushy – that’s a bonus right?

bio cleans

I think this one is the smartest marketing

cheeses pleases

I really have to applaud this rhyme. I bet these onions do please cheese

how is it crunchy.

What is making this crunchy if you’ve taken out most of the nuts? Worrying.

I’m willing to admit that some of these work better than others. I’m not sure how appealing extra-mushy peas are. But the clever thing is that they take away your worry about the product.

The little slogan distracts you from things – like why did you write ‘mushy processed peas’? What did you do to the peas that meant you had to write that word?

You might even miss the fact that the washing liquid only does 8 washes – that’s rubbish!

Sainsbury’s are quite clever with this stuff because they set their sights low. Let’s make these bad products seem slightly less bad – that’s their aim. And we believe them because they’re not claiming much.

But there’s one particular slogan that I don’t think works at all:

sparkling water

Are you sure that’s what you want to go with? You sound so defensive Sainbury’s and we didn’t even question you. You just blurted out ‘It’s definitely not from the tap!’

That makes me suspicious.

You should have stuck with your whimsical riddles. Because this doesn’t reassure me – it makes me think you’re up to no good.

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