The best secret penguin

Show me the best secret penguin!

It’s a command that you readers have been giving us for a long time. Yearning for it like a monkey trying to climb a tree that’s outside his enclosure. But now your yearning has turned to earning – because today you’ll find out.

Firstly, the best secret penguin definitely isn’t this branding agency:


That’s a great name for a company. Especially considering how good penguins are at marketing stuff. Especially secret ones.


I thought these guys were great but then I found this:


Agency websites are super intense – it’s aggressive wooing.

That’s not good enough, chaps. You only do two things well and neither of them are penguin like, or particularly interesting to anyone.

It’s a great company name – it’s just not a best thing…

But when the BBC decided to send robot penguins into a penguin huddle – well that definitely was a best thing.


The spy in the huddle – can you spot the fake?

What a great idea! Remote control cameras disguised as animals or rocks. It’s pretty innovative and it will make the robo-apocalypse a lot more fun.

This best thing really teaches me that penguins just make anything better. They add value.

Are you having a wedding? Why not walk down the aisle with a penguin entourage? They already look like they’re wearing suits… What about a boring meeting at work? Add a penguin to that for guaranteed fun.


This is a penguin riding a camera that’s disguised as a rock…

The best by-product of these spy bots is obviously the footage they shot. They found conclusive proof that penguins really are idiots and this YouTube video is absolute gold.

Especially 30-35s – that’s worth replaying a few times…

I guess we should spare a thought for these funny little creatures. I don’t think I’d cope well if I was dropped off in the arctic wearing a fat suit that had flippers for arms. That would be fun for twenty minutes and then I would die.

It makes me wonder why penguins climb so many rocks… they should stick to water-based activities I think.