The best ways to induce labour

Welcome back from the weekend guys, I hope it was all you dreamed of and more. As a special treat for a Monday, we’ve got another guest post to bring you but this time from a mysterious anonymous contributor. So sit back, relax and read a post written by one of you…
*WARNING* Guest post approaching *WARNING*
Guest post
A little over 9 months ago my wife (who for the purposes of anonymity I will refer to as Xena – because quite frankly who wouldn’t want to be married to a Warrior Princess) and I, hopped on the good foot and did the bad thing (or as Shakespeare would put it; we made the two backed beast).

However, despite conception occurring over 9 months ago, Xena remains heavily preggers, with no baby in sight whatsoever, which led me to think about the many old wives’ tales that exist about inducing a baby naturally, forming the basis of this post.

Curiously, as I considered the old wives’ tales, it appeared a number of these superstitions had actually been devised with the stereotypical man in mind:

1) The first of these is sex. Good old fashioned sex. Although this is both a male and female act, suggesting it at an inappropriate time is perhaps more a male thing…

Apparently orgasms release the hormone oxytocin, which stimulates the muscles of the uterus to contract, giving the baby a push in the right direction. Furthermore, a man’s swarm of miniature swimmers are rich in prostaglandins; hormones that can help soften & open the cervix. Who knew there was science behind it?

2) Secondly we have spicy food. What better way to pass the time while you wait for your baby to arrive, than to chow down on some pad Thai and/or chicken wings smothered in hellishly hot sauce?
pad-thai-shrimp
3) Last of the male orientated methods is to take your expectant loved one on a bumpy car ride. The theory is that the bouncing motion breaks her waters, thus pushing the baby further into the birth canal ready for birthing. This works particularly well down country roads or a heavily potholed street.
bouncing car
However that is not the end of the list of ‘baby coaxing’ methods; there are, in fact, a number of seemingly more feminine techniques which include drinking red raspberry leaf tea, eating pineapple and going for a gentle walk, but they sound less fun.

I don’t know about you but I think I’ll stick with the sex, curry and a white knuckle ride round the neighbourhood (in the vague hope that my Warrior Princess is feeling adventurous/desperate enough to give them a whirl).

Ignatius Loquacious (N.B. this is the mysterious man’s sign off…)

 

Hope you enjoyed that and normal service will return tomorrow. It’ll probably be less baby-focussed… unless Jon has some news.

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