The best last train home

Often when you go out you need to know when the last train home is, mainly so that you don’t get stranded and have to sleep on a bench but also so that you have a valid reason to leave without everyone going, “aww man, you’re leaving super early, it’s only 5pm!”

Last night I went to a work social and so I needed to discover at what point I had to leave to catch the last one-track train home so I could slope with purpose.

Well when I asked the National Rail website to get me home that evening, this was one of its suggestions:

Train times


From reading this you can slightly grasp how ridiculous this suggestion is but let me give you a bit more context: Park Street is about 40 minutes walk from St Albans Abbey (50 minutes if you’re on crutches or a super-charged snail). In fact, even if you were to take National Rail’s overestimate of the time distance between St Albans Abbey and St Albans main station into account, it would still only take an hour maximum.

When it runs, the train normally only takes 4 minutes!

Instead, they are suggesting I travel from North London to South London, faff about a bit down there, and then return to North London – all because they are determined for me to arrive at Park Street railway station.

I think that instead of making me travel all through the night, there should be an icon of a sleeping person, because if I slept at St Albans Abbey and then got the first train in the morning I would actually only arrive 14 minutes later in Park Street.

However, I am happy that National Rail tried, and tried with such ambition. Who knows, one day I may take their Magical Mystery Tour of the railways to get home at night but for right now I’ll just make that 40 minute walk, it seems worth it.

Enough about trains! Hopefully that didn’t bore you all too much. Thankfully, this is Double Post Friday which means we don’t have to rely on a half-baked post about ambitious computer train systems.

No pressure Jon…