Jon’s best description of a high five

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Look at elbows rather than hands to get that satisfying slap sound… try not to make that weird face though.

High five is a great name for the action. Five fingers, which are high, meeting another five fingers which are also high. Yeah, high five – that’s a nice name. Apparently it sprung up in US sports in the 70 or 80s and things were never the same again.

One day there will be a post about the best type of greeting. It will examine all the different high fives, fist bumps and handshakes. But that’s not today because right now we have a more important question to answer:

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What else can you call a high five when you need a synonym? …Microsoft Word has no idea.

And really there is no solution. Hand-to-hand slap, up-topsy, palm press, metacarpus mash – whatever you try, you look like an idiot.

And that’s the real joy of this post because I’ve found some someone who did try – the BBC.

They chose an interesting quote to explain what a fun lollipop man (or a crossing guard to you Americans) was doing:

He had his hand out anyway to hold back the traffic and as the children crossed they would pat the hand that he was holding out.

That is exactly how an English-speaking extra terrestrial would describe a high-five and you have to love BBC Devon for including it. It’s a bold attempt at a synonym and I like it. I want to use it in my life.

Hey man, great goal you scored there. Pat my hand that I’m holding out.

Nice joke, buddy. See this hand I’m holding out? It needs patting.

The sad news in this story is that the lollipop man dishing out the hand-pats was threatened with suspension for that behaviour. He has now resigned which made the event worthy of some fun news coverage.

In fairness to the hand-pat creator, it’s actually pretty good practice to go wild for synonyms.

Repeat a word to often (or at all really) and people will think you have nothing new to say. So make sure you vary your vocab, man. Just don’t come up with something as crazy as the hand-pat.

You might be wondering how this post turned from light-hearted amusement to life-saving writing advice.

But that’s just the way things go here on Steve and Jon’s best things. The only thing you can predict is that Steve will post about the Naked and Famous at least once a month.

That’s your fill of best things, folks… until tomorrow.

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