Steve’s best car game

It's a nice view but all I can think about is wanting to overtake that car up ahead just for something to do

It’s a nice view but all I can think about is wanting to overtake that car up ahead just for something to do

Last Friday I was able to enjoy a long and arduous car drive, one of the longest I’ve ever driven, only to repeat the same feat on Sunday. Needless to say, a large proportion of my weekend was spent within the confines of my ‘bean can’ car.

Luckily I wasn’t alone, I had 3 people to keep me company and make sure I didn’t fall asleep whilst on the dark roads of the M1. I’ve had long car journeys alone and they certainly are boring, once you’ve sung your favourite album through twice at the top of your lungs and listened to the entirety of ‘The Archers’ boxset, there is little else to do; apart from concentrating on driving of course.

Even with others it’s not always the most exciting, cars can shut down conversation and the monotonous grey motorway before you can drive any intelligible conversation out of the window. At which point you need to play a game to wile away the time on your 5 hour journey.

Many people have their favourite car games, passed down in their family for generations when their great, great, great, great, great, great uncle first saw his neighbour Eddie Stobart riding at the front of his horse drawn carriage and had to shout out his name.

But my favourite is a game called Beard, Slaphead, Glasses, introduced to me by Jon a few years ago.

The game is simple: as you overtake cars you look at the driver. If the driver has a beard, is bald or is wearing glasses then you get a point. If the driver has 2 of the 3 attributes then the player gets 2 points and if the driver has all 3 attributes then the player gets 5 points. The aim of the game is to get the least points and a player is out once they reach ten points. You take it in turns as you overtake cars and the rest of the game takes care of itself.

This is a typical killer combination for all ‘Beard, Slaphead, Glasses’ players – from beginner to expert

It’s so much fun, albeit slightly dangerous when you spend more time looking at the drivers of the cars you’re overtaking rather than looking at the road.

My favourite part of the game is the reaction players give as they pass a ‘point giving’ driver – it’s always a cry of disappointment followed by the cheers of joy from the other players. The game gets even more exciting when the driver looks at you as you pass them, particularly if you are visually lamenting the beard and glasses upon their face.

If I had a beard, was bald and wore glasses then I would spend my hours driving up and down the country in the slow lanes of the big motorways, hoping to catch out the ‘Beard, Slaphead, Glasses’ players. Definitely something worthwhile to do in my retirement.