Jon’s best free horror experience

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This is a fox with a dead pigeon in it’s mouth and it could be yours for only £45

Some people like things that are designed to horrify them – like horror movies or haunted houses at fair grounds. Maybe it’s the challenge and the achievement of getting through it. Maybe it’s the adrenaline that pumps around your body.

Whatever the thrill is, plenty of people exchange money for it.

But I’m suggesting today that you don’t need to. It is a clear waste of those pounds, dollars and pesatas. (I really miss pesatas – stupid Euro.)

If you want a horror experience for free, all you need to do is go to your local antique store.

I just went to a particularly frightening one in Hexham, which is where I found Fantastic Mr Fox and his dead pigeon friend.

Let me show you a few other highlights:

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Just your classic torture chair.

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This photo is blurry because my wife was pretty embarrassed by me taking pictures at this point…

 And best of all…

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These chamber pots lined the three flights of stairs in this place… a chilling tour of toilets past

Maybe the creepiest thing of all is thinking about the history of the objects. Who puked in that wash basin? How many bodily fluids have soaked into this sofa? Why do people like to display dead things in glass-fronted cabinets?

Questions that no one wants to know the answer to…

So if you’re the sort of person that likes to be frightened – don’t waste your money anymore. Go to an antique shop, preferably at night, and let your imagination run wild.

In all this excitement, don’t forget that you can also buy antiques at an antique shop.

We bought a table.

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