Jon’s 15 best ways to make your woman love you

Image

Some people think that dogs and cats are the male and female of the same species. Although these people aren’t even nearly correct, it got me thinking that the way to a woman’s heart might look a lot like the way to a cat’s heart…

So here’s my 15 best ways to make your girl love you, based on cat advice. I’ve adapted this from a wikiHow article for people who want affection from their cat. In fact I’ve only changed a few words.

If this goes well I could have an advice column just like Coleen Nolan

  1. Pay attention to your girl – It’s hard to love someone who pays no attention to you. Show her that you love her. But try not to pay too much attention to her because she will find that annoying.
  2. Try to keep your woman out of trouble – You want her to know that she is safe and protected. If she knows this, she will love you better.
  3. When it comes to food, don’t change your lady’s food too drastically or too often
  4. Don’t leave her alone for too long – If you do have to leave, make sure your girl knows that you missed her.
  5. Women are independent no matter what their personality – If she is not paying attention to you or decides she’s done bathing and thinks the birds outside are more interesting at that present time, don’t fret as she probably just needs a breather.
  6. Brush your lady often – Girls love to be brushed. You could also try brushing her teeth.
  7. Don’t pick your woman up or chase her a lot – Let her come to you. Don’t drag her.
  8. When your woman is all cozy and closes her eyes after looking directly at you, return her affection by making soothing purring sounds.
  9. Keep her toilet clean or she will find somewhere else to go.
  10. Talk to your woman – This may sound insane. But after a while she will start understanding you.
  11. If your lady has done something right the first time you ask, offer a reward.
  12. Give your girl some space – She doesn’t always want attention, if she’s sleeping peacefully, don’t disturb her, let her rest.
  13. Offer her a very small amount of milk. Most women love milk. But if a woman drinks too much milk, they can become sick.
  14. If your lady nudges you it means she likes you
  15. Try and be the person who feeds your woman – She will get used to this and come to you whenever she’s hungry.

Well apart from sounding quite sexist, I think that makes a bit of sense.

What do you think?

Here’s the original article if you’re interested

Advertisements