Jon’s best face to fight the facebook

Sometimes in life you have to pull a face in a photo. Over-keen photographers are everywhere – trying to capture every private second of your life and something has to be done.

We used to have a special name for a phone that took pictures – do you remember the mystical ‘camera phone’? Now the term is dead. In fact, if we found a phone without a camera, we’d probably make a museum for it. 

So in a world full of amateur paparazzi, how do you avoid becoming a sepia-toned upload? How do you keep your face out of the facebook?

Well, you could start by learning the pig face, the turtle face and the weightlifter – modelled in order below:



All good options, but it’s not enough. A face like this actually makes a picture more interesting. Which is good, but not when someone is trying to take a picture of you sitting down.

Hey buddy, what are you doing?

Sitting on this chair

Great, let me take a picture – people will love it.

What you desperately need in this situation is something much more powerful. The sort of face that makes people say ‘”What’s going on?” or “Hey man, is everything alright?”

What you need is the subtle but supreme ‘Smiling without your eyes’ face that is perfected in Steve Carrel’s Brick Tamland character from Anchorman:


This is Brick’s happy face – he’s just received a compliment from a lady

But to properly smile without your eyes takes a little bit of practice.

Get in front of a mirror (or a ‘camera phone’) and look at your resting face. Slowly start to reveal your teeth until your mouth is the shape of a smile but keep the top half of your face still. And that’s all it takes. You can try frowny eyes with a smiley mouth for extra effect though.

Here’s the face again, in all it’s intense glory:

brick's got some intense eyes

This is the perfect counter to the sort of boring photo that should never be taken. Make your face like this and you will not be instagrammed. It’s the best way to fight the facebook.

But for the record, I’m pro photographs in general – I just like them to be used well. Fortunately the brick face makes every photo look fantastic. And incidentally, so does playing ‘rock‘.

Happy double post Friday, everyone.