Jon’s 5 best ways to deal with hairy shoulders

man hair

It’s peak holiday season and so it’s time to expose yourself more than you normally do. For those of you with personal shoulder carpet dilemmas, this will read like a neat little summary of your options for dealing with pool side situations. But for the rest of you less hairy types this is more of a personality test.

However you choose to cope with your hairy shoulders, real or imagined, will reflect the inner workings of your head – Or at least it might… I’m quietly hoping this will be picked up for a future issue of glamour magazine.

Here are your options:

  1. Do nothing – When you take your top off, you look like you’re wearing a jumper with nipples on it. But you choose not to care. Your comfortable with woollen shoulder pads and maybe that’ the best way to be.
  2. Hair removal cream/waxing – The former is a painless method which I actually tried last summer. It made my hair lie like little dead worms. I thought I was dead a bit. Also, it was super itchy and it made my back go all spotty – so not perfect. I’ve never tried the latter but hey, it’s a sensible option.
  3. Ask the barber nicely – When they do your neck line just ask for that little bit more, simple. Maybe even wear some sort of tube top to make it even easier. Not for people with a sensitive awkward-o-meter though…
  4. Never nude – Just don’t take your clothes off, chaps. Then no one will know your hairy secret (business idea: hairy secret would be a great name for a male lingerie company.)
  5. Make everyone else hairy – Testosterone supplements for all your friends. Encourage people to think rugged thoughts, take them to Scotland, bathe them in caffeine. Do all these things to everyone in the world and soon you won’t be the only one with hairy shoulders.

These are the 5 best ways to deal with shoulder hair, but the real question is which would you choose and what does that say about you?

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