Steve’s best way to look young below your years

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Many people throughout their life will fervently try, some in vain, to cut the look of age. The sector for anti-ageing products is huge and there are now a variety of weird and wonderful treatments (my favourite is bee venom, it sounds pretty cool) to reduce those signs of ageing.

Cosmetic surgery is becoming more commonplace and acceptable, and the winner of this year’s apprentice was all about the war against the ugliness of old!

But, these people forget the simplest of methods to show your inner child. One piece of clothing and you’re reduced to about the age of 10.

May I present to you the 3/4 length trousers!

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So straight-forward yet so potent. They can make the oldest of men look as if they are about to frolic, to adventure, to run with the best of them. The true age reversal technique.

In all honesty, I do find it hard to take someone seriously when talking to them in these ‘not quite’ shorts. By ‘not quite’ I mean they don’t really stand for anything – they are too long to truly reap the benefits of the shorts (particularly the thigh showing off capabilities), yet too short to match up to the mighty trouser.

They fall in a no man’s land of length and, frankly, focus too much on the ankle for my liking.

Ultimately, they are a staple of the young, the free and the bold – a statement of liberation from the ties of reasonable trouser/short length. Striking fear in the hearts of the mature, the 3/4 length trousers will bring new admiration to any elderly figure.

Do you want eternal youth? The fountain is found in the 3/4 length trousers factory…

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