The best trick Coca-Cola has ever played on us

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Has this situation ever happened to you when you go to the bar to ask for a drink:

“May I have a pint of Coke please?”

“Sorry, is Pepsi OK?”

Anguish

“Guys. Seriously. Why are you messing with me like that?”

 

If I worked for Pepsi, I would die a little inside whenever I heard that.

The biggest trick Coca-cola has ever played is making us believe the brown, sugary liquid is called Coke when, in reality, it’s called Cola. It subconsciously gives Coke the edge over Pepsi because we’re always asking for it in one way or another.

The phrase “is Pepsi OK” makes you start to think that Pepsi actually might not be OK, that there may be something seriously wrong with my decision to go for Pepsi. It seems akin to asking for a Blu-ray disc and someone attempting to give you a DVD instead – you know you probably won’t notice the difference but you feel you’re getting an inferior product.

pepsiokay

Taken from Honest Slogans

 

However, I’m sure it wasn’t Coke’s fault that we ended up talking this way, it’s simply the result of them producing a far more popular drink. It also sounds way cooler to ask for a Coke than to ask for a Cola. I imagine the only people who ever ask for a Cola are actors in a period drama set in the Wild West, otherwise, no-one says it.

Another big trick Coke played on us all was to turn Santa red (he used to be green), but that’s not too important. That’s only impacted millions of children’s perceptions of this holly-jolly man. No biggie.

GreenSanta

I’m not going to lie, he definitely looks better red. Green makes him look a bit radioactive

 

The best way to be impressed by 2014

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There were loads of cool happenings in 2014 and I’m sure we’ll Best-Thingify them as we get closer to the new year.

But right now I just want to show you an incredible video of people doing crazy things and succeeding. It’s the best way to be impressed by what otherwise might have been an unimpressive year in your life.

Pay particular attention to the majestic fat man at around the 1.50 mark

 

Incidentally, the best way to feel depressed about 2014 would be to somehow find and watch all the failed attempts at doing the tricks in that video – You would be there for days.

The best drink not to be ashamed of

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Which drink are you?

Which drink are you?

Everyone loves a good drink, whether it be alcoholic or non-alcoholic, fizzy or non-fizzy, hot or cold, fruity or bitter, we tend to drink quite a lot. I suppose it has something to do with its necessity for human survival but many people simply enjoy the act of drinking.

“Fancy getting a drink later?” is code for hanging out rather than some good thirst quenching advice. It’s seen as a social occasion. Many people go for coffee without any need for a caffeine boost, they simply like the taste.

Myself, I could list plenty of drinks I enjoy for their own sake: beer, coke, wine, tea, orange juice, coffee, gin and tonic and so on. But there is one glaring omission from this list, which I’m sure many others would also fail to include: water.

This elephant definitely appreciates water. You should too.

This elephant definitely appreciates water. You should too.

I love water. I like drinking it. I think it tastes good. Yet, whenever I go round to a friend’s house I almost feel apologetic when I ask for a glass of tap water.

“We’ve got squash, juice, tea or coffee”

And then I do the callous thing of ordering off the menu, “Could I just have a glass of tap water please?”

“Are you sure? It’s really no trouble to get you something else.”

“Seriously, water will be great…”

“OK… *cough* weirdo *cough*”

"Who are you and why have I invited you into my home?"

“Who are you and why have I invited you into my home?”

I’m not sure why many people appear visibly annoyed when I do this. Perhaps it’s because they’ve bought in all these extra drinks which now won’t get drunk, or maybe they want to show how hospitable they are and I’m pulling that rug out from under their feet, I don’t know. One thing I am pretty certain about though, I really like water.

Let me list some of the things I like about water:

We need it to survive. It’s not too sugary or sickly. It ‘feels’ clean. It’s incredibly refreshing, more so than a beer or a coke. It doesn’t ruin your teeth. It’s free. It can prevent headaches. Your dentist doesn’t shout at you if you drink it.

They'll be so proud of you!

They’ll be so proud of you!

I think we all need to stand tall if we love water, don’t be afraid to ask for it in someone else’s house. Let’s not be embarrassed of our affection for this life-giving drink.

And to all you water sneerers, who don’t believe it’s a real drink when I ask for it, I hope you can be more understanding in the future…

The best graph for men to be proud of

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Well done, men.

Well done, men.

 

The Darwin Award is the sort of award that is funny to laugh about behind closed doors, but in in the light of day  leaves me a bit conflicted.

That’s because it celebrates people who die in really weird ways. It’s very funny but when you take a step back you realise that this is still death we’re talking about.

An example would be that in 1995, someone won a Darwin Award for trying to fix his truck while it was moving. He got his friend to drive while he clung on to the undercarriage to try and identify what the rattling sound was.

It didn’t end well.

There’s plenty more you can read.

But whether you find these funny or not (which I think I both do and don’t in equal measure) you surely have to be interested in that graph up top.

282 male winners, 38 female.

That is striking.

This all supports something called Male Idiot Theory which is rather cuttingly described as so…

The Male Idiotic Theory (MIT) stipulates that the reason men are more prone to injury and death is simply because they are idiots and idiots do stupid things.

Thanks, Science, you sure know how to make a chap feel good.

But I think that’s all part of the negative aspect of male idiocy. It’s very valid criticism but it’s only one half of the story.

It makes me think of this quote I heard recently…

what is the point

 

It comes from a man named John Green and I think it speaks some truth.

If I’m honest though, it’s not the gender issues that interest me in all this. It’s that balance between idiocy and caution.

Because if you get it wrong one way you might die fixing a moving truck, but if you get it wrong the other way you might never have a story to tell in your whole life.

We’ve got to strike that balance, walk that tight rope.

If you’ve had lots of self-induced near-death experiences lately – maybe take a step back, accept your idiocy and compensate for it.

More likely though, you won’t have taken any risks in a while and it’s time to attempt something remarkable.

 

Just make sure you don’t cut your own head off with a chainsaw – something that one Darwin Winner (1996) did in a manliness contest with his friends.

He won the contest, lost his life and got the balance between idiocy and caution way wrong.

Like really really wrong.

The best vegetarian offering as told by dinosaurs

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I respect vegetarians. They sacrifice so many tasty things, often for moral reasons. It could be they dislike the idea of eating Joey the lamb or Florence the cow, or it could be they feel strongly about the world’s resources and that vegetarianism is a helpful solution. I’m not sure.

However, I struggle when thinking of vegetarian things which are delicious, something which I would actually choose over a meat option. And this is why I think this coaster sums up the relationship between meat and non-meat eaters so perfectly:

IMG_1141

It brings to the fore an incredible vegetarian product, hummus. The positives of hummus are numerous, primarily that it is delicious, but also that it is a faithful friend of bread. If anyone says let’s go for a picnic, all you need is a loaf of bread, a tub of hummus, some crisps, a Babybel or two and your day is set.

I’m also very pro-falafel. Basically, any derivative of the humble chickpea is fine by me, shame I don’t like the chickpea itself.

Anyway, this fantastic representation of herbivores comes from the mind of Gemma Correll and I find it pretty darn hilarious. She’s done some other cartoons and they’re also good such as this delightful explanation as to why it rains:

Raincloud

They’re great and they make you think. Do you even consider the cloud’s feelings when you say it looks like an ugly face? RUDE!

The best way to feel like you’ve been at least somewhat productive

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In Britain, the majority of things we produce aren’t physical things. A huge number of jobs involve sitting in front of a computer all day, responding to emails, playing with Word or Excel and reading the BBC news website. Most of the things we produce are digital. They’re ideas.

As our manufacturing sector and natural resources aren’t great, it’s nice that other people are willing to pay us for our ideas. It means a day spent moving pixels around on a monitor can result in some other pixels getting moved around in our bank accounts and us being able to eat food. That’s fairly good.

Busy business women

I wonder if they’re aware that none of their computers are turned on

However, do this for too long, too often, and you can get the sense you haven’t produced anything. You have little to show for what you’ve done. This is why I generally dislike buying stuff from iTunes, there’s not something physical to prove I actually own something.

In which case, to make your day feel a tiny bit more productive, all you need to do is make something physical. It could be writing a letter to an old friend, maybe hammering a nail into the table you were making or building a clay oven in your garden.

When it comes to the evening and your frustratingly productive friend asks you: “what have you been doing with yourself all day?!” you can show them the slide you built from your bedroom window to the street. They’re bound to be impressed.

So my advice to you: get out and make something. If all else fails you can at least take solace in the fact you made a swan out of paper…

IMG_1137

The best way to revise, make notes and then fold them into swans!

 

The best thing for tired people to do on a Friday

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I’m not going to use too many words here.

The best thing for tired people to do on a Friday is this…

 

going to bed

 

 

Wait until you’re really sleepy (which shouldn’t take long). Then be just like this guy and trust-fall head first onto wherever it is you like to sleep.

Once there, sleep until not sleepy any more.

Happy double-post Friday from one slightly tired Best Things Finder.

 

Let’s hope Steve has the energy to summon more words. I managed 78.

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